chapter twelve

Bitter Pill to Swallow

  

     That must be a surprising reaction for someone who has just made the breakthrough he has been diligently seeking, but I thought I had just committed blasphemy against God.  Remember the Supreme Being I dismissed as irrelevant in my search for the Creator?  Well, I wasn’t dismissing him anymore. 

     I became extremely afraid that if he existed, he would get me. Unlike regular death, I feared he would send me straight to Hell. I cried.  They weren’t even manly tears that I let stream down my face. I blubbered like a cold bitch. My shoulders shook and everything! 

     You may want to laugh, but I tell you this because if I can make the breakthrough and I was that afraid of my own beliefs, I understand any fear you have in accepting what I'm telling you, even though you can't refute it. 

     While I was crying, I prayed. I prayed the traditional Muslim Salat and I prayed in my own words begging God for forgiveness for the arrogance that led to my blasphemy.  I also prayed for the guidance and strength to accept the truth if I actually stumbled into it.    As I got off my knees, my mind flooded with every mathematical principle that said zero as it appears on the number line is greater than any other value. 

     Not only had I not committed blasphemy, I just recognized God in the most accurate and complimentary way.  Even still, I wasn’t fully convinced.  It took months of study, inner dialogue, and debate to fully accept God is to reality what zero is to math. It took years to grasp how to apply the information to my life.

     You don't need to take as long and hesitate though.  There is no way I can explain to you how much the isolation and personal responsibility of an original and controversial theological idea can intensify your doubts.  Even as I write these words, I wrestle with the notion of sharing a message with the world that is worthy of being called scripture while honestly recognizing no holiness or prophetic qualities within myself. 

     What allowed me to leave Islam alone and finally share these ideas as in independent philosophy, Intellectual Righteousness, is the constant defeat I suffered whenever I tried to logically and objectively dispute and refute them. You too should recognize in defeat, there is victory and freedom. 

     It isn’t surprising that you don’t immediately accept the truth the moment it is presented to you.  It is a concept so different from what we are accustomed to when dealing with theology that you should want to reject it. Be mindful of what method you employ in your rejection and what you’re admitting to yourself in the process:

     In your attempt to refute this ideology, do you focus on the oft repeated phrase, God is to reality what zero is to math, or do you parse over every other word and phrase looking for an opening to cause confusion or feign misunderstanding? Do you seek to understand in which way I use the words in that analogy, or do you use an alternate definition that may be accurate but also irrelevant and out of context as a means of disagreement?    Do you confront the analogy head on, or do you skirt around the main point in order to question or dispute something I’ve already admitted not knowing?

     I ask these questions because, if you cannot confront Intellectual Righteousness head on, you have already said “uncle”, even if you’re not ready to admit it to yourself. 

     If you are honestly having difficulty understanding by what definition of zero I am comparing to God, there is no need to personalize the zero principle and dissect my words. You can simply study or review the concept of absolute value and the role zero plays in determining the value of all other numbers. Look at the number line and notice zero isn’t the opposite of anything but is that which both positive and negative must come from.

     Your unwillingness to do that will show that you know you can’t objectively dispute what I've said. You are seeking to continue an argument you refuse to admit you’ve already lost through confusion because you know objective and honest clarity works against you. 

     Why fight the truth, anyway?  Is there some gain you can get from reality by lying to yourself I'm not understanding?  Don't you know reality doesn't depend on your acceptance in order for it to be true? It is what it is whether you believe it or not! 

     What baffles me most are those of you who will become angry with me for telling you the truth about God. You fought, and you lost. Why wallow in defeat when acceptance of the truth puts you on the winning side? Don’t you realize that your anger is caused by your frustration? 

     You’ve admitted to yourself that you can’t disagree with me and be right at the same time.  If you know the truth now, why stay mad? Why not be pleased to be free from the lies that hindered your ability to fully appreciate reality?

     Some of you may think that it is hard to accept this truth even though you know you can’t objectively refute it.  Yes, it can be difficult but not impossible.  You must be willing to take a conceptual step you have never taken before.  It is a step you will never have to take on any other subject either. 

     I would like to call it a leap of faith, but the word faith has become so tainted over the centuries that it could be misleading, especially since I said from the beginning that I could prove the existence of God without it.  Before you delude yourself into believing I’ve contradicted myself, let me explain: 

     I have been critical of applying faith to God because it has become synonymous with hope, and hope should never be used as a means of cognition. I’m no linguistics expert or anything like that but knowing and understanding God is to reality what zero is to math makes me believe that whatever word got translated into what we call faith once meant believing in what makes sense in spite of the inability to perceive or imagine the reality.  

     Somehow, faith has morphed into believing the ridiculous in order to imagine and believe in something that can’t be true.  When I say, take a leap of faith, I'm saying believe what makes sense without the ability to use sensory perception or imagination as a means of confirmation.  It will make all you encounter, acquire, and/or experience work to your advantage whether you can immediately see it or not.

     Where could your argument begin or from what angle? If you believe there is a creator of the universe, then there is no denying God is to reality what zero is to math.  The only way to define the Creator of all is to mentally eliminate the all, which would leave only zero. 

      If you don't believe there is a creator of the universe, your belief contradicts reality.  The universe must be finite or else measurement on any level would be impossible.  There can be no points, segments, intervals, or change within the infinite. There can be an indefinite amount within the indefinite though.  

     While it is possible to ignore this irrefutable fact, just know your ignorance exposes your anti-God attitude as anti-intellectual, as well.  There must be the same Unique, Absolute, and Infinite beginning for all that is finite.  In the most objective science and honest language for defining and describing reality, that Source for all else is zero.

     How can you argue against the concept of Heaven or Hell being a return to God?  Just as no part of the universe has the power to create, none have the power to destroy. The only way for anything, including the physical yet immaterial force that moves our matter, to cease to exist as an individual is to return to that Creator.  

     If you doubt whether we will be aware of that final moment of individuality, keep in mind that our souls are awareness itself. Without the material universe, there is no need for a mind to know what is going on.  I would argue that our awareness of such an event would be heightened rather than lessened.

     Even if we will be totally unaware of this final instance of individual existence, the knowledge of the only reality that can fully satisfy every want we should have gives anyone who applies this information to their lives a huge advantage in appreciation of whatever life has to offer. 

     Academically and theoretically, there is absolutely no room to even begin an argument against Intellectual Righteousness. You don't have to accept it though. You can ignore everything I've said, and your situation will not change. You are free to continue to create hells on earth as you prepare for Hell in reality by worshipping something silly and imaginative or things that can be taken from you just as easily as you can gain them. If you let that sink in, you would apply God is to reality what zero is to math to your life because there is a powerful selfish motivation to quit resisting what you can't refute.

     Don't make the mistake of waiting for some religious leader, scientist, or mathematician to be able to refute God is to reality what zero is to math.  If you hold your breath, you'll mess around and pass out or die.  I assure you: they will either confirm it as true, ignore me and suggest you do the same, or get embarrassed and exposed as false and contradictory if they try to refute it. 

     They say there are two sides to every story and the truth is somewhere in between. In theology, those two sides have been religion and atheism.  The truth is God is to reality what zero is to math.

     That and ‘with God is Heaven and Hell’ are the limits of what is irrefutable.  I have opinions on how to apply this information, but my ability to figure something out doesn't necessarily make me an expert on its application. Take your time and truly consider the information I've just given you and live your life accordingly. 

     When you wonder who is this guy that can bring clarity to a subject riddled with confusion for centuries, I am Damond E. Anderson by birth and Hassan the Butterfly by merit. May peace be with you.

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